What do you mean by that?

Today it occurred to me that the word "handicapped" does not mean what I think it does. Question 1 when people see my daughter is what is wrong with your daughter, to which the answer is autism makes her different, I am not sure there is anything wrong with her. Question 2 is What is autism or how does it make her different, to which I have to say I have no idea. To me she seems so normal.
One of my dear daughter's friends, S., was patiently explaining to me that a certain young man on their bus was disruptive and annoying because he, "you know", does not have language. Today Dear Daughter was telling me about another of the students at school - a girl named C. "She is like K.", says DD, "no language". For S. and DD having no language is no more peculiar than being left-handed. One of the sidecar drivers in Brno wheels himself in a wheelchair when he is not driving his sidecar. He won the race, so I would not say that the limited use of his legs is in anyway a handicap. If he cannot walk, is he handicapped? What does it really mean to be handicapped? Do physical or psychological impairments constitute a handicap, or is a handicap how you deal with the cards you are dealt in life?
So, DD reads this over my shoulder and asks "am I handicapped" and I have to say "I do not know. Do you feel handicapped?"